Conjunction Junction, What’s Your Function?
Forgive me Beachcombers if this appears to you as an exercise in grammar pedantry. I assure you, it’s not. The abuse of the English language, particularly - nay especially - in modern journalism has gone too far. I’ve had enough, and it’s time to speak up.
Attention all editors, journalists, and other daily writers in English! The conjunctions ‘And’ ‘But’ and ‘Or’ should NEVER, EVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER start your sentences. N-E-V-E-R. Am I clear here? The very idea of a conjunction is that it joins two connecting thoughts. Ergo, NO English language sentence (outside flowery literature) should ever begin with any of these three words. If your sentence does begin with one of these words, a connection is NOT being made and you have failed the basic conjunctive purpose. This translates to me: you are STUPID, perhaps lazy, most likely both.
I’m so tired of reading major news-dailies that are either unwilling or unable to recognize this simple concept. Please - for the love of all language English - STOP printing sentences that begin with conjunctions.
Glad I have REAL things to worry about, eh?
November 10th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Amen, Sister Jaime!
November 11th, 2008 at 3:51 am
But Jaime, there are plenty of times where I want to start a sentence with a conjunction. And I don’t see why you should tell me how to write. Or, to state it differently, you can’t tell me what to do! Nor are you the determiner of laziness or stupidity.
Yet here we are.
So there, how do you like that?!
Mike
November 12th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I have a few thoughts on this that I’d like to share:
1) Thanks for getting that song stuck in my head.
2) You have conjunction issues, but The Unnecessary Capitalization Of Each And Every Word In A Sentence is something you can overlook? For Shame! I won’t stand for it… not now nor ever…
3) I like Mike.
4) Seriously, it’s like that song that never ends. The worst part is that I don’t actually know all the lyrics so I’m stuck singing the chorus over and over again.