Four days, less than 96 hours now, the holiest of holidays arrives - Thanksgiving. This can only mean one thing, of course - we’ve already begun our cooking for this year.

Mike, bless his heart (like that southernism?), did all of the shopping today (with one exception, I’ll elaborate another day) while I was at work. Yeah, that’s right - I. Got. Out. Of. Shopping. Yeah Me! Whew! I have a feeling I will have to make up for this later. Probably during cookie season, set to begin in about a week/plus…I digress.

Part of today’s shopping included Mike buying a chicken. Said poultry has been simmering in the kitchen since before I arrived home this evening. I checked it about 45 minutes ago and there are tiny bubbles slowly escaping into a gelatinous goo. It’s lovely, and this house smells incredible.

Why a chicken, my good Beachcombers ask? It is one of the only ways to make a perfect gravy for Thursday’s turkey. The sole reason this chicken is being cooked is to create a perfect stock to be added into, nay, to become an integral part of, the turkey gravy later. The carcass will simmer until tomorrow, when Mike will add ye ole trinity (carrot, onion, celery), plus some, for further simmering.

Graviness is holiness in these parts.

Do ANY of you dear Beachcombers find SNL’s Andy Samberg funny? ( /Ben Stein voice: Anyone? Anyone?)

Me neither. Fire his ass. He is bringing the whole show down. He sucks - big time- and not in a good way.

Forgive me Beachcombers if this appears to you as an exercise in grammar pedantry. I assure you, it’s not. The abuse of the English language, particularly - nay especially - in modern journalism has gone too far. I’ve had enough, and it’s time to speak up.

Attention all editors, journalists, and other daily writers in English! The conjunctions ‘And’ ‘But’ and ‘Or’ should NEVER, EVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER start your sentences. N-E-V-E-R. Am I clear here? The very idea of a conjunction is that it joins two connecting thoughts. Ergo, NO English language sentence (outside flowery literature) should ever begin with any of these three words. If your sentence does begin with one of these words, a connection is NOT being made and you have failed the basic conjunctive purpose. This translates to me: you are STUPID, perhaps lazy, most likely both.

I’m so tired of reading major news-dailies that are either unwilling or unable to recognize this simple concept. Please - for the love of all language English - STOP printing sentences that begin with conjunctions.

Glad I have REAL things to worry about, eh?

Here at the Gull Reef Club, it’s usually soup. Sometimes a stew. Occasionally risotto. Tonight, it was tamales.

Why is it that ‘peasant’ food seems simple, yet requires SO much labor? Did peasants labor much? Hmm…Maybe…

Obviously. The outcome - deliciousness.

At 8:00 am today, Mike and I were already finalizing our method to cook the drastically-reduced-priced pork shoulder we had purchased ($25 worth of meat for $10ish). By noon, the meat was cooking. By 3:00 pm, the sauce was made. By 7:00 pm, the corn husks were soaking. By 8:30 pm, the tamales were being assembled. By 9:00 pm, the tamales were in the steamers (yes, plural, meaning two steamers at once). By 10:00 pm, we were about ready to eat - time to finish up the rice and beans and - huzzah - a freaking fabulous peasant dinner*.

If you’ve never found the time or inclination to make your own tamales, what are you waiting for? Life’s short, make tamales.

Since I was at ‘pay’ work while this timeline was proceeding, if I’m off, Mike will surely advise.

I’ve gone ahead and added ‘Barack’ and ‘Obama’ to my approved words list in the Microsoft Word dictionary. It’s real now. I don’t need reminders those words might have been spelled wrong. It’s official. Welcome to a new day in America.