The Gull Reef Club


Memesters Local #705

Filed under: — Jaime @ 12:06 am

Waaaaay back in the day, long before teh internets, assiduous humorists needed a way to dole out their daily drollery. By the grace of the mimeograph machine and captive audiences in offices and companies all over America, these humorists pioneered the pre-meme landscape.

In his working days, my grandfather was among the avant-garde of office amusement. Nary a Sunday visit to my grandparent’s house would pass in which we would fail to be entertained by ramblings in light blue ink that he brought home with him. Typically, my young eyes were not privy to the papers that seemed to elicit the most laughter from my adult family members.

Not wanting to end up a dead cat, I would snatch up the shrouded sheets that had been forgotten by dinner time. It was in this way, I had my first exposure to the (cue evil music) dirty joke. Some time would have to pass before I was actually able to comprehend what I was reading. Afterall, I had only been reading a few short years by that point anyway. Irony, innuendo and the double-entendre were not part of my vocabulary yet.

Sometime during the mid-80s I got a hold of one of these pages that had tickled my adult family members only hours before. Passing my eyes over it like so many before, I had hoped this time I would find the funny. Much to my delight, the right combination of words finally sank in. I got it. I knew what all the words meant. I knew that some of those words had multiple meanings. I knew it was funny and more importantly, I knew why it was funny.

This joke has been seared into my brain. I’ve had the fleeting fear that I will be a 90 year old alzheimer’s patient who harasses my nurse aids by reciting the punch lines to jokes I learned eighty years earlier. Ok, it’s not a fear. I actually kinda hope that happens.

So, beachcombers, you want to share in some second-generation family heirloom humor?

A woman was driving down the road very fast when she was nabbed by a cop looking for speeders. The officer walked up to her window with his ticket book and asked, “Ma’am, do you know how fast you were going?”

The woman was a knock out. Putting on her most innocent face and shaking her assets, she replied, “Oh, I’m so sorry officer! I know I was speeding, but I’m late for a very important meeting and I’m in a huge hurry.” Begging she went on, “Please don’t give me a ticket. I’ll do anything. I’ll buy tickets to your Policemen’s Ball!” she said.

The cop looked at her sternly. “Ma’am, the police don’t have balls.”

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