The Gull Reef Club

8/24/2005

If you sprinkle when you tinkle…

Filed under: — Jaime @ 8:01 pm

…wipe the seat or me and my can of Lysol are coming after you.

We are experiencing a bit of difficulty with our bathroom situation at work. Our firm rents an office in a building and we share the floor with another office. There is one community bathroom for each gender on the floor. In total, there are five women regularly who use our bathroom.

As of late, however, it seems as if people had been making their way off the street and finding their way to our bathroom. Countless, disgusting, personal, feminine messes have been left. I armed myself with a can of Lysol every time I entered.

Just last week there was a strange woman in the bathroom when I chanced to be in there. As I came out of the stall, she was at the sink counter obsessively placing her plastic bag down, picking up again, and replacing back down. More bothered by germs than weirdos, I proceed to the sink adjacent to hers to wash my hands. She looks at me and exclaims with childlike wonder, “You look like a teenager!” “Uh, thanks” was my flat reply. “No, really! You REALLY look like a teenager!” Before the conversation went beyond creepy, I gave her a fast, “have a nice day!” and got the hell out of there.

Well, the ladies in the other office get this brilliant idea today to start locking the bathroom door. They have a key, we have a key, a key to pee. Sounds like a good plan to prevent any further excreted mysteries, right? Wrong! I go in there late in the day. In the small stall is a bowl of disgusting darkness. In the large stall, the seat is covered with piss. WTF!?!?!?

Safely assured this afternoon’s misuse of the facilities was not caused by me, leaves 4 others, two of whom are my coworkers. I simply don’t want to believe the dootie is being done by either of my dear girls. The other ladies aren’t all that bad either, so it’s hard to have such thoughts about any of them. It’s Savannah, so I suppose I could blame a ghost.

Now the question is, do we opt for the cutesy sign stating ‘if you sprinkle…’ or the one reminding everyone ‘your mother doesn’t work here’?

All gods bless our cleaning people. They don’t get paid nearly enough.

The Gull Reef Club